Erica's Blog

The Try Something New Everyday experiment

Today “the girls” got measured

on January 6, 2014

When I left the house today, I had NO IDEA this would be my something new for the day!

Really folks…you were slated to get a blog about kale chips.

Gentlemen, you may want to stop reading here…

I researched recipes all morning.  I understood the premise, but my OCD preciseness required exact instructions.  In most of the recipes, they referred to using a salad spinner.  Yet again, my ill equipped kitchen is holding me back!  I had errands to run this afternoon so I just added a stop to Bed Bath and Beyond to my list.

I have jury duty tomorrow and I noticed yesterday that a bleach stain now accents the back of my black cardigan, the staple to practically every outfit I wear during the winter.  I don’t remember being around bleach recently but from the looks of it, we had quite the bum rub.

(Hi Boys….I see some of you opted to keep reading…:) )

Should be a simple in and out at the local mall department store, right?

Oh no…this is January.  For some reason, the stores have transitioned from sweaters and warm stuff to “the Spring collection”.

????

Umm…I’m very pro proactive….I totally support planning ahead and having on hand what you need before you need it…but we clearly have 3-4 months of brutal Old Man Winter and what will be the store’s answer during these winter fashion emergencies?

“Think warm!!  Think sunny!!  Think how cute you will look in 5 more months laying on the beach in this polka dot bikini!”

A polka dot bikini does nothing for my cold bones now.

Anyhoo, back to the task at hand. I FOUND black cardigans (YEAH!) but not one in the appropriate size (BOO!).  They had other colors in my size but the options were safety cone orange, nuclear neon green or passionate fushia. I took the “too big” black and the “fitting but loud and proud” pink sweaters to the fitting room to determine the lesser of the two evils.

While in the fitting room, I overheard another customer getting fitted for a bra.  I always thought …how do I say this modestly?…the girls had to be uncloaked to get measured.  Now, I’m all proud of my lovely lady lumps and totally support saving the tatas…but the idea of another lady getting that close fails to appeal to me.  An intimate experience I could do without.  As such, I usually just fumbled through sizes until one felt good.  And as such, my bra sizes vary wildly…almost schizophrenically.

As I eavesdropped, I realized the associate didn’t ask her to undress…no peep show required!  She didn’t even have to take her top off!

I could SO do that!

I busted out of my dressing room and asked excitedly “Can you measure me too?!?!”  Ok…maybe a little too excitedly…

The measuring took only a minute and then I had my official combination code.  I referred back to the bra I wore today and my haphazard trial and error method was only off by 3 sizes!  No wonder the girls have been feeling a little down lately.

Now having my official size, I skipped to the bra section.  So many choices! Colors, fabrics, styles…the bra agendas could be categorized:

  • sporty (flatten them puppies)
  • simple/sterile
  • lift them to the sky
  • guaranteed to make your man happay happay happay
  • glitzy, “I feel pretty (under my clothes)”!

And wouldn’t you know, the store signs exclaimed Annual Sale!  Buy two bras whose prices have been doubled, get two bras free which equals 4 reasonably priced bras.  And matching panties: 5 for $20.

Why 5?  4 bras but 5 panties?

Maybe that’s new math.  I never caught on to that.

I took one random style bra back to the dressing room, just to ensure my newly given code was in fact correct.  I shimmied into it, did the over the shoulder bolder holder wiggle (to seat the girls properly) and turned to the mirror…

Oh my WOW!  Such support!  Such an uplifting experience!  The girls look and feel so good!

An opera High G note spontaneously escaped me.

I felt I needed oversized wings and should catwalk walk out of the dressing room in 6 inch heels to the tune of some Maroon 5 song.

I cha-chaed back to the bra area to select my 3 other “heaven on straps”.

I pondered the sporty ones for a split second but oh no…no pancakes for me.

I usually just go for the simple/sterile/just get the job done ones but these girls deserve better!

I splurged!  Two “I feel pretty” and two “Happay Happay Happay”s.

All the crazy sized and/or boring bras have been given a one way ticket to the DAV Thrift Store.

And now knowing my appropriate size, I feel more confident to invest in Hearts on Fire Diamond bra (only costs $6.5 million):

glitzy bra

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