Erica's Blog

The Try Something New Everyday experiment

Today I rescued a bird from my chimney

on March 10, 2014

I live in an old house…like built before 1900.  You are probably envisioning a beautiful,  character filled two story farmhouse with a wrap around porch and stately colums and glorius magnolia trees…

Stop it!…my house is more like a one story oh my golly, what crack addict designed this house?!

I say all of this so you would understand, I have a useless chimney.  I’m sure at some point the chimney was used.  Possibly for a true cooking wood stove, or a wood heater…or smoke signals for the Native Americans tribes…

Fast forward to today…the chimney is a vestigial element of this house.  I had a cap on it however over the winter it blew off and hasn’t been returned yet.  So today I just be bopping around the house doing chores and some cooking and kept hearing these odd noises.  Sometimes the noise sounded like a woodpecker attacking the house and sometimes a strange animal wrestling in the house.  I finally localized the noise to the chimney and instantly knew what had happened…

But who knew what kind of animal it could be.  I have tons of old pecan trees which is also known as the community squirrel welfare system…and let me tell you, the squirrels waddle around here…so could be them…could be a bird but with the amount of racket going on beyond those brick walls, I doubt it.  Could be a racoon or possum but they normally only appear at night. ..or could be Sasquatch…would totally make sense if it were Sasquatch…

The noise began about 4 ish…I pondered what to do.  I could open the flue myself and face the chimney monster on my own…I could wait until hubbie comes home for him to handle…sure this constitutes as a blue job…

The guilt wrecked me.  I couldn’t stand knowing some defensless wild animal who knew no better laid trapped in my chimney…

But this whole ruse could be a trap and Sasquatch could just want entry in my house…probably this…yah, its probably Sasquatch and his evil plots…

So I listened to determine what it could be…again, I just couldn’t figure it out.

About 30 minutes into listening I grew some courage and decided I could do this.  I’m an adult.  This is an adult situation.  I’m a planner.  This situation only required some planning.

Anything can be accomplished as long as you have a plan…and Mr. T.

I stood in the kitchen and stared at the chimney, mentally drawing up my plan and contingencies.  All of a sudden a loud rustle came from behind the bricks…as if the bricks could no longer contain the monster…

Ack!!!

Back to the drawing board in my mental castle (bonus points if you know the reference!).  How am I going to do this?!

Well, first…supplies would be needed…I’m gonna need a box…just in case I can trap such beast…I’ll need latex gloves…I’m not catching no scurvy or polio or chicken flu from whatever lays waiting in there!  I’ll also need either some liquid courage or tons of chcolate to handle the emotional toll this will take on me.

Another loud rustle came from the chimney…

Uh…yah…this is totally a blue job…I’m unqualified…

I told whatever lay behind those bricks to hang on…help was coming…but I’m not the calvary…I’m just the help coordinator.

You may think I make this stuff up…that I don’t talk to animals or walls…sadly I really do…

Like any good help coordinator, I made the prep call to warn hubbie what he’s about to walk into…better a warning than being frantically rushed at the doorway.

He seemed unshaken…

What?!  A beast lay in our walls…who knows how long it could last or just the very fact that something living is stuck in our house, which is completely atypical,  but yet to him I might have just said I picked up the mail or its spaghetti dinner night…geesh!

Fast forward, he arrives home.  He assesses the situation.  I’m prepared to be the awesome assistant.  Like a Hot Lips Houlihan to the debonair BJ Hunnicutt.  I gather all the tools and we position ourselves for whatever may come out.

He opens the flue…
image

Nothing…

He rustles around in the chimney…

Nothing…

He opens the other door (remember…old house…designed by crack addict…chimney has several access openings)…

Nothing…

Then all of a sudden I see this black thing hop out and then fly through my kitchen!…then take a turn to my bedroom!

I jumped and then screamed and then yelled “Bedroom!!”

About that time, the big black bird flew from the bedroom to the laundry room.

I screamed again and yelled “Laundry Room!”

Hubbie hurried to the laundry room to open the door to allow the bird to escape…however the genius bird determined he would only exit through the closed window and kept head banging the window.

I grabbed the box top and hubbie coerced the bird to freedom through the doorway.

The bird flew outside, perched on the fence and looked back at us as if pondering how he will recount this near death experience in his bird blog.

All the while our crazy cat ran around as if to ask “What did I miss?!  What did I miss?!”

So, I totally rescued a bird today…by rescue I mean I waited until hubbie came home and screamed while the bird flew through my house…

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