Erica's Blog

The Try Something New Everyday experiment

Today I…ugh…I cannot even say!

on May 20, 2014

I am so grossed out right now…

Let me start from the beginning.

Today, my indoor/outdoor cat greeted me on the porch after I arrived home from work. Personally, I prefer her to be just an indoor cat but she has a wild side about her and needs her nature fix everyday. So she usually goes out in the morning, explores, does her thing, then sits on the porch until I come home. Nothing out of the norm so far.

I opened the door to let her in but something on her caught my eye. I leaned down to inspect and became horrified! There were these things…they were so big I could see them protruding from her fur…they were…ugh…I cannot even say their name…it was…TICKS!!

OMG!!! OMG!!! OMG!!! It’s all I could think! It’s all I could say…well, based on my volume I don’t think you could characterize it as “saying” but rather screaming.

OMG!!! OMG!!! I don’t do tic…err…them. They secretly attack you, suck your blood, turn absolutely huge and gross (not that they had much good looks to work with), probably leave behind a disease or two and then, even when they’ve had their fill, they make disconnection super hard and super tricky. Super Yucky!!!! They have no valuable contribution to nature and just flat out evil….EVIL I SAY!!!

I believe they are the worst thing in this whole wide world!! They give me the heebeegeebees, make my skin crawl and elicit shivers down my spine. Ugh! Ugh! Ugh! Yah, I was probably screaming those too.

I immediately slammed the door on her poor little face. Love you girlie but you aint getting in the house with…with…them!!

OMG!! OMG!! What am I going to do?! This is clearly a blue job but hubbie is out of town…conveniently….

Icould just ignore it and leave her and her new friends outside….nah, I actually couldn’t…that’s not how I treat my pets. I could call 911…surly they take care of things like this, right?! I could phone a friend and get them to do it…nah, I actually couldn’t…that’s not how I treat my friends.

There’s only one thing left to do…put on my big girl grannie panties and handle it myself. I can do this…maybe…

I prepared my supplies: paper towels…tweezers…3 pairs of (non) latex gloves…toilet lid up for easy water tornado send off…alcohol to sterilize the tweezers…wine for me for pre and post extraction…and bleach to scrub the scene afterward. I know…I know…I know what you are thinking…3 sets of gloves?! Is that enough? I’m just determined not to touch them buggers!

I gloved myself, let her in the house and corraled her into the prepared bathroom. She was immediately on guard because usually being corraled in the bathroom means what will come next isn’t her type of fun. I scruffed her but she wiggled her way out of it. I then tried again but she let out this pitiful meow that just broke my heart and I let her go. The only way we will get through this is to rationalize with her…

Me: “Sweetie…you have some super dooper bad buggies on you and I need to get them off. You have the easy part in all of this…all you have to do is sit still. Then I can do my super dooper hard part of tackling these enemies.”
Her: “Meoooow”
Me: “If we work together, we can do this.”
Her: “Meooow”
image

I took that as her proverbial fist bump of teamwork and held her while I searched for the gross parasitic beasts. I realized I’m not going to be able to use the tweezers while holding her…sigh.

Ugh! I shouldn’t have sighed…my sigh initiated her wiggles and she escaped my hold. Now, she became less than patient with me and began the keep away game in the 75 square foot bathroom. She ran to the tub, then behind the toilet, then jumped up on the sink, then back on the floor, zigzagging through my legs and back to the tub again to repeat this course. Well, some way, some how, in the 4th lap I caught her mid air as she jumped off the sink. We wrestled down to the floor…she pinned me once or twice but I got the last pin in. I worked fast and without thinking and pulled two off her. I checked her all over but that’s all I could find…

Warning…there is a picture of them below…yes, I took a picture. I wanted to show others (and myself) that I could do it…but not that I plan to do this again.
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